How to Begin Writing a Eulogy

When we’re asked to speak about someone we’ve loved and lost, the weight of that responsibility can feel overwhelming. How do you fit a lifetime into a few minutes? How do you find words when your heart is still catching up with grief?

If you’ve been asked to write or deliver a eulogy, know this: you don’t have to be a professional writer, and you don’t need to capture everything. A eulogy isn’t an encyclopedia entry. It’s a reflection—one that honors, remembers, and celebrates.

Start with Stories

Think of small, vivid moments that bring your loved one to life. Was there a catchphrase they always used? A Sunday ritual? A way of making people laugh in the most inappropriate places? These details are what make a eulogy feel real and memorable.

Don’t Strive for Perfection

A eulogy doesn’t need to be poetic or flawless—it just needs to be true. Speak from the heart. Even a simple line like “She made every room warmer just by walking in” can carry more weight than a perfectly polished paragraph.

Structure Helps

If you feel stuck, use this simple outline:

• Introduction: Who you are, and your relationship to the person.
• Life Highlights: Their achievements, passions, and values.
• Stories: A few personal memories or anecdotes.
• Closing: A note of gratitude, farewell, or inspiration for those listening.

Speak to the Living, Too

A eulogy honors the one who has passed, but it also comforts those who are grieving. Don’t be afraid to remind listeners of the love that surrounds them, or of the ways your loved one’s spirit will live on.

Writing a eulogy can feel daunting, but it’s also an act of love. By sharing your memories and words, you’re giving a gift—one that can bring comfort, laughter, and healing in a time when they’re most needed.